There’s no place like home…….

There’s no place like home……

It’s been weeks, maybe months…okay, a year of non-stop craziness. I think I can say that without truly exaggerating, not that I’m prone to exaggeration, in fact, I think for the most part I minimize things. Well, I try…I don’t like to let things get too far out of hand. So what was I saying, wait, weeks, months, a year…craziness. Oh yes. So anyway, Sunday, Hunky Hubby and I decided we needed a day of just..well… peace. Yes, a day of peace. We went down to the beach took a romantic walk, listened to the waves crash, watched the children playing on the sand. It was really nice. We ended up having a champagne brunch on the pier. Champagne…and it wasn’t even dark, oh my…

After lunch we stopped in a little shop on the pier that had jewelry and figurines, and I fell in love with a pin that had a pair of ruby red slippers, you know, like the ones in The Wizard of Oz. I’ve been thinking about this pin, and I may have to go back and get it.

You see, a few years ago, while we were still living in Wyoming, when we decided we wanted to move back home, I started a file. A file where I made our plan to get home, where I organized our house hunt, logged boxes as I packed them, everything to do with coming home. I named the file “Clicking My Heels Three Times”.

So now, I’m home, and although it’s not perfect, it’s exactly where I want to be. Yes, the traffic on the 405 freeway terrifies me, but Palm trees….yes, the cost of living is outrageous, but oh the weather, yes, the city is full of chaos…but there’s so much energy here.

Seeing that little pin with the ruby red slippers reminded me just how much I wanted to come home when I was away. Just how much home means to me, that dreams that lie over the rainbow aren’t always better….that there’s really no place like home…I might just have to go back and buy that pin.

I Am A Quirky Imperfect Perfectionist

Anyone who knows me very well, knows that I am….let’s go with ‘quirky’. Yep, I think I can live with quirky.

What I mean is;

I am both highly organized and a walking disaster. I think I’m reasonably intelligent, but I can be a little….blonde at times. I have no confidence at all, and yet there is nothing I can’t do. I believe in facing things head on, although I’m not opposed to denial! I am extremely conservative…but, not always. If you don’t know me, it sounds like I have multiple personality disorder, or at the very least I’m highly fickle. But if you know me, you probably know that it somehow all fits together.

I’m an imperfect perfectionist…yep, that’s it, that’s the description I was looking for to start this tirade, And actually, it also fits with my New Year’s Resolution for 2012, which is to quit trying to be perfect…

Not that I’m ever even close…well, in some ways I get close…but then, no not really.

My bills are kept in a notebook that has a monthly log that I designed on the computer. If anything happens to me, it would be easy for anyone to pick up that notebook see what our balances are on all of our accounts, what has been paid, how and when it was paid, and what still needs to be paid.

But if you open my Tupperware cupboard, well….do so at your own risk.

I can conjugate verbs, diagram sentences, and I know the difference between fragments and run-on sentences, but that doesn’t change anything.

I still talk (and write) in fragments and run-on sentences.

If there is a problem I can solve, I will be direct and deal with it head on…..I don’t like to procrastinate, just make a decision and follow through….unless it’s something like being sick. Then, I totally believe in denial…I know, I’ve been lectured before, still…denial…..

I am extremely conservative. I went to high school in the 70’s, never smoked pot, didn’t drink until my late 20’s, still don’t swear-the few times I have the boys have made it clear that it’s so unnatural that it’s hysterically funny- swearing loses it’s impact when there’s laughter, and when it’s done often.

And yet, I love playing pool with my incredibly Hunky Hubby at a little dive bar where no one would expect me to hang out…unless they knew me really well.

So where am I going with this?

These little quirks and sometimes large quirks make me who I am, they also make me look at other people differently, and ultimately that makes me a writer.

You see, I am highly judgmental, (don’t worry, I’m even harder on myself) and yet, I always have to try and figure out why people do the things they do….I know why my DVD collection is separated by category then alphabetized, but my dresser drawers are a tangled up mess of socks and nightgowns, but I need to know why a relative hoards mismatched furniture, and what makes another friend who is pretty together overall…engage in some very risky behavior. When my need to understand is fulfilled, I no longer need to judge.

And yes, sometimes these traits may find their way into my writing, although what I’m writing is fiction, it often blends together the things that I’ve learned from friends, family and even strangers….and don’t worry, if you think you’ve figured out where some of my character’s traits come from….you could be right…or you may be very, very wrong.

So now I can’t remember what the point was when I started writing this, but does it really matter anymore? I’m a quirky, imperfect perfectionist, who is a highly organized walking disaster, with an alphabetized DVD collection, but watch out for falling Tupperware, who thinks her imperfect friends and family are perfect just the way they are…and hopes they think the same of her…..

And, occasionally I write about it.

So what are your quirks and imperfections?…and if you know me, feel free to share some of mine, just remember my sons read this too………………

 

 

The Perfect New Year Resolution

Over the years I’ve made numerous resolutions, some of them I’ve managed to follow through successfully, many others I’ve given up on months, weeks and sometimes even just days after making the resolution. This year, I’m looking back over the past year and previous resolutions, and I have a new resolution, one I’ve never made before.

1992 my resolutions were to lose weight, be perfectly groomed, have a perfect home and write a column for my local newspaper….I got the column and wrote it for  4 years.

1998 my resolutions were to lose weight, be perfectly groomed, have a perfect home, and homeschool my younger boys….hahahahaha, well I did homeschool the boys and any of you who have homeschooled know exactly what happened to the rest of those resolutions.

2002 my resolutions were to lose weight, be perfectly groomed, move to Wyoming, have a perfect home and write. We moved to Wyoming and I lost thirty pounds….must have been the mountain air!

2008 my resolutions were to lose weight (I’d long since gained back the previously lost weight), move back to California, be perfectly groomed and write….we moved back to California

2011 I resolved to lose weight, be perfectly groomed, have a perfect home and write a novel. I wrote the first draft of my novel, and began editing.

In 2011 I also was there as a dear friend lost her husband of 20 years to cancer, I saw my father for the first time in twenty years, let go of my kids just a little more as they grow up, held on tighter to my own loving husband of 23 years, and learned that writing really is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

So what do you think my resolutions are for 2012?

2012 I resolve to quit worrying about being perfect…it’s an impossible goal that sets me up for failure and makes me feel inadequate, I resolve to simply be my best, the best wife, mother, friend, writer, that I’m capable of being, and to love myself, something that I probably shouldn’t need to resolve to do, but clearly I do. (Okay, I still have to resolve to lose weight; I’m not ready to give up!)

I’ll get back to you this time next year to let you know how this goes. In the meantime, do you make New Year’s Resolutions? Which have been successful? What are your resolutions for 2012, I’d love to know!!