What I mean is;
I am both highly organized and a walking disaster. I think I’m reasonably intelligent, but I can be a little….blonde at times. I have no confidence at all, and yet there is nothing I can’t do. I believe in facing things head on, although I’m not opposed to denial! I am extremely conservative…but, not always. If you don’t know me, it sounds like I have multiple personality disorder, or at the very least I’m highly fickle. But if you know me, you probably know that it somehow all fits together.
I’m an imperfect perfectionist…yep, that’s it, that’s the description I was looking for to start this tirade, And actually, it also fits with my New Year’s Resolution for 2012, which is to quit trying to be perfect…
Not that I’m ever even close…well, in some ways I get close…but then, no not really.
My bills are kept in a notebook that has a monthly log that I designed on the computer. If anything happens to me, it would be easy for anyone to pick up that notebook see what our balances are on all of our accounts, what has been paid, how and when it was paid, and what still needs to be paid.
But if you open my Tupperware cupboard, well….do so at your own risk.
I can conjugate verbs, diagram sentences, and I know the difference between fragments and run-on sentences, but that doesn’t change anything.
I still talk (and write) in fragments and run-on sentences.
If there is a problem I can solve, I will be direct and deal with it head on…..I don’t like to procrastinate, just make a decision and follow through….unless it’s something like being sick. Then, I totally believe in denial…I know, I’ve been lectured before, still…denial…..
I am extremely conservative. I went to high school in the 70’s, never smoked pot, didn’t drink until my late 20’s, still don’t swear-the few times I have the boys have made it clear that it’s so unnatural that it’s hysterically funny- swearing loses it’s impact when there’s laughter, and when it’s done often.
So where am I going with this?
These little quirks and sometimes large quirks make me who I am, they also make me look at other people differently, and ultimately that makes me a writer.
You see, I am highly judgmental, (don’t worry, I’m even harder on myself) and yet, I always have to try and figure out why people do the things they do….I know why my DVD collection is separated by category then alphabetized, but my dresser drawers are a tangled up mess of socks and nightgowns, but I need to know why a relative hoards mismatched furniture, and what makes another friend who is pretty together overall…engage in some very risky behavior. When my need to understand is fulfilled, I no longer need to judge.
And yes, sometimes these traits may find their way into my writing, although what I’m writing is fiction, it often blends together the things that I’ve learned from friends, family and even strangers….and don’t worry, if you think you’ve figured out where some of my character’s traits come from….you could be right…or you may be very, very wrong.
So now I can’t remember what the point was when I started writing this, but does it really matter anymore? I’m a quirky, imperfect perfectionist, who is a highly organized walking disaster, with an alphabetized DVD collection, but watch out for falling Tupperware, who thinks her imperfect friends and family are perfect just the way they are…and hopes they think the same of her…..
And, occasionally I write about it.
So what are your quirks and imperfections?…and if you know me, feel free to share some of mine, just remember my sons read this too………………