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Posts Tagged ‘procrastination’

Procrastination, Delusion & Denial

In Life Essays on March 7, 2011 at 2:34 pm

On the forums at harlequin.com there’s been some discussion on procrastination, which has rambled on to discussion on delusional thinking. I like this topic, and have decided to continue with it here.

The discussion was started when Cynthia asked if other writer’s self sabotaged with procrastination. This discussion has led to a new blog created by Elley Franco, that both Cynthia and I’ll be contributing to  http://fromfacttofiction.wordpress.com All of us are published non-fiction writer’s who are now working on fiction.

Elley read an article that said that successful marriages are often the product of delusional thinking, and suggested  that maybe as writer’s we should use this tool in our writing.

As I said in the forum, I absolutely agree about delusional thinking, in marriage and in writing….

Years ago as a young bride, I read the wedding and anniversaries page of our newspaper, and there was an article on how to make a marriage last where they interviewed couples who had been married for 50 years or more. The interview that stuck in my head was a husband who pretty much gave all of the credit for their marriage to his wife. He said that in the early years of their marriage, she had often “turned her head the other way” when he made mistakes. He was young, and hadn’t quite settled down, but apparently, she didn’t see the bad things (or at least didn’t acknowledge them) and eventually he grew up, and became a good husband….at least he thought so, and she stayed around.

Is that delusion or denial, I don’t know, but I suppose I use them both to have both a good marriage, and in my writing……and isn’t writing just creating a delusional world anyway?

I have a wonderful, devoted husband of 22 years. Have I turned my head the other way? Many times, since I don’t plan on leaving this usually works better than throwing things at him, which I do not admit to doing…..and sometimes the delusions, and even the reality work their way into my writing.

Those of you who know me know that I often advise denial and delusion as coping and survival skills, not just in marriage and writing, but in many other areas of life. Parenting (this should probably go to the top of the list) at this point my boys are all over 18, and they know that I am now on a “need to know” basis. If I don’t need to know, and can’t do anything about it, don’t tell me, leave me with my happy delusions of who my children are…cooking “I meant for that cake to be lopsided like that…in fact it’s called the ‘Drunken Mudslide Cake”  (well that’s what it’s called now anyway!!) dieting, I won’t get into this, it would be a whole article in itself, exercise, yes this goes back to procrastination, but often goes to delusion and even denial.

Yes, pretty much every aspect of life can be handled with the skillful use of procrastination, delusion and denial…..or at least you can easily delude yourself into thinking you’re skillful with these tools….and really, aren’t you the only one you need to delude??Drunken Mudslide Cake

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Procrastination/Redirecting Tomato/Tomatoe

In Life Essays, writing on September 27, 2010 at 10:12 am

It seems that a lot of writer’s have a problem with procrastination. I see questions on forums and in writing groups such as “how do you keep yourself motivated” “I think I’m the queen of procrastination what do I do?”

I personally don’t think I like the word procrastinating, I’m sure I never procrastinate when it comes to my writing, after all I love writing….I prefer to say that I’m “redirecting”…I’m not writing because I’ve redirected my attention to the housework (you know I like a clean house,and I live with 3 guys and a black dog, this isn’t procrastination it’s necessity….right?”) cooking (hey, again I have 3 guys to feed, this is a time consuming job! not just the cooking, but the shopping and clean up)… the sewing I want to do for the holidays, well, it won’t be the holidays unless I sew!!… exercise….okay, anything but the exercise, I’ll redirect my energy right back toward the writing so that I don’t have to exercise…..hmmmm, maybe that’s a plan, have my trainer call to set up an appointment more often so that I can procrastinate on my workout by HAVING TO WRITE!

I think that should solve the problem….oh, and no time for my annual mammogram, I HAVE TO WRITE….hey, this could work out well…….nope, can’t help you guys clean out the garage I HAVE TO WRITE……I may be able to redirect right back to my writing….and get out of a few things I just hate to do!!!

Sorry guys, gotta go,  I think I have to write!!

Redirecting my attention to the Torrance Farmer's Market

Getting Into Character

In Life Essays, writing on September 22, 2010 at 8:30 am

So today is an all day writing day. I’m not doing laundry…although it needs to be done, no dusting, vacuuming….okay, I made my bed, and I’ll cook dinner, but that’s where it ends. Today is for writing.  Sam Hunter, author of Pick Me Up a Blaze novel, commented on this today in a writing forum, calling it “Bracketing”, and it really made me think about how often I let the lines of my life blur….and do my character’s do that?

I don’t know how many other writer’s feel that their character’s tell their own story, I’ve seen a few comments from other writer’s, but I feel very strongly that my characters have a story to tell, and I want to let them tell it. My current character, Randi lives in Hermosa Beach, which isn’t far from me. I often see her running on the beach, or sitting in the window of the old building that she lives in on Pier Avenue……in my head of course, because she’s purely fictional, but right now….for me….she’s real. Just ask my husband how real she is, sometimes I think it may scare him!!

Anyway, I can see that Randi is also guilty of letting the lines of her life blur. The beach is right outside her window. She’s a fashion designer, and will slip out to run on the beach, or take a dip in the ocean, when she gets tired of sitting at her design table or sewing machine.

So today, I’m taking my pen and my notebook (yes I write my drafts by hand, then edit on the computer) and I’m going to the beach with RandiAt the Beach. Yes, we’ll probably power walk on the beach (this will frustrate her because she’d prefer to run, but I’m not much of a runner), we’ll just say that it stimulates our creative juices, and after enjoying our yogurts and fresh fruit while listening to the waves crash, we can both sit in the sand…her with her drawing pad, and me with my notebook, and we’ll work……….