taristhread

Twenty Four Years Is Not Enough

In Uncategorized on August 20, 2012 at 9:46 am

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August is a month of special anniversaries for Paul and I. Last week we celebrated the 25th Anniversary of the day we met at Shoreline Village. Wednesday will be the 25th Anniversary of our first date, and today is our 24th Wedding Anniversary. Yep, we’ve been married twenty four years, and together twenty five.

I’m not ready to give out advice on how to stay married. My parents split up just short of their twenty fifth anniversary, and his divorced after thirty three years of marriage, so there are some milestones I still want to pass before I feel like “this will last”. Okay, in all likelihood, as madly in love as I am with my Hunky Hubby, I will never feel entirely secure.

There are some wonderful marriages that I look to for inspiration…not perfect marriages, but good marriages. Not marriages where people just stay together and endure a bad relationship, but marriages that seem to be happy and loving. My Aunt Betty and Uncle Roger were married more than fifty years before he died, my Aunt Judy and Uncle Ed have been married nearly fifty years, and they aren’t alone. I know of quite a few long lasting, happy marriages.

We have a number of friends married around the same time as us. Their marriages have made it through rough times, raising kids, sometimes health or financial trials, but they’ve loved each other enough to work through the challenges and keep their relationship a priority.

When Paul and I got married I was only 27 years old. I’d already been married, had a child and divorced by age 23. My parents had just gone through a divorce, his were in the middle of a divorce and I was terrified of what we were doing. Should we get married? Should we take a chance and try to build a life together? Could it really work? I didn’t want to be divorced again.

Over the years I’ve wanted to throw things at him, I’ve been mad enough to think about leaving, and I’ve thought about torture. And there’s a good chance he’s had similar thoughts. The truth is though, that I don’t want to imagine my life without him. No matter how imperfect, no matter how challenging, every day that I get to be Paul’s wife is another day I’m thankful for.

And one of the things that keep us working on our marriage is our parents’ divorces. We know what it can do to families not just the couple, because we’ve experienced it. We don’t want that to happen to the little family we’ve raised. So, when it’s all romance and roses, great, but when it’s tough, we do the hard work to keep it together.

Most days it’s easy. I still count the minutes until he gets home from work. He still calls me several times during the work day. His voice on the phone still makes me melt. We are practically inseparable all these years later. We flirt shamelessly with each other, and on occasion are asked if we’re newlyweds. We usually just smile and nod.

Tonight we’ll have dinner at the restaurant that’s currently on the marina where we met. Paul will make the hostess and wait staff listen to the story of how we met right there and were married right there. If we see any young couples nearby, he’ll tell them the story as well. He’ll find something to juggle just to impress me…and anyone watching. I’ll roll my eyes and pretend he’s embarrassing me, and we’ll watch the sunset thanking God for one more year together. We know how precious they are.

So, now that I’m all melancholy. I want to say thank you to my wonderful, crazy, hardworking, handsome husband who keeps me laughing, pumps my gas for me, changes all of the light bulbs, keeps our old car running against its will, and puts up with me year after year.

Happy Twenty Fourth Anniversary Honey!! Is it greedy to say it isn’t enough?

All my love,

Tari

 

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  1. Happy Anniversary Tari & Paul!! So nice to read happy stories :).
    Stay inspired!
    Micheller

  2. It is so important for people to see your honesty and heat in your writing. You do have a magical marriage. It is sweet to see the love between the two of you. What role models you are to your boys and others.

  3. Thank you MIchelle! Hope all is well with you, it’s been too long!

  4. Aunt Gloria, thank you so much. Sometimes I may be a little too open about our life! I feel very lucky to have such a great guy, and wonderful boys.

  5. OMG! How SWEET is that! Congratulations on your lasting love affair. I’m glad to know my parents are the only ones still in the courting phase after 21 years of marriage (going to be 22-years October). They are STILL high school sweethearts. Yep! They met and started courting in high school. Married the very next year after HS graduation and are still DATING and goo-goo, gah-gah crazy in love. You and Paul look a lot like them: HAPPY. Kudos! Keep it going. It’s certainly good to read about and see. I’m still in HS, so — I’m just an admirer. (-:

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